***UPDATE – a slightly more polished and beautifully type-set version is part of both the SYSTEMICS II as well as the MORE LOVE book.
(made available to read online for free once-in-a-while or generally with a donation based password.)
[ a little experimental essay on something rather enormous ]
Better begin with what it is not. Let’s say, for the purpose of this paper, trying to cover the human angle from a purely human vantage point – whatever it is for animals and plants, for humans it isn’t. Yes, propagation does occur (sometimes is getting out of hand) but a pure angle of biologism seems utterly ridiculous in the face of what we’re going to say. Besides, what is Life anyway? Who’s to say that only molceular-biological duplication patterns constitute life? Hasn’t it been talked about in the Buddha school, for example, that everything is alive and the mere frictional movement of matter can give birth to new matter?
So where does Sex start? By a soft touch with the subtle undertone of desire? Through a casual caress conveying detached affection? A warm sideway glance sparking-off lewd baselines? The verbal ‘Schlagabtausch’ between two people who secretly fancy each other? The eerie sensation that sitting on Grandpa’s lap or being tickled by Daddy feels ‘real nice’?
And where would it end? With the grand spiritual wedding? Multi-orgasmic shockwaves into higher 5D astral-body frequencies? Dual cultivation of both Demon- and Buddhahood as practiced in Tantric Buddhism?
And between all this? There lies all the rest, obviously. Like? The well-maintained day-to-day reality between an affectionate husband and wife? Healing of bodily dysfunctions through reflexology of the sex organs? The wealth of self-esteem and inner fulfillment awaiting a woman from great love-life and a man from being able to give ‘it’ to her? The elicitation of erotic dreams through the wearing of seductive clothing? The hypocritical but hot-headed denial of secret rape fantasies? Isn’t, as great psychologist Eric Berne has put it, the event of actual pleasure while being subjected to rape the “most dreaded possibiliy”? How complex (and secret at that) are female orgasmic functions?
So what about getting lost, then, into the black hole of insatiable female desire which, if you go along as a maybe or maybe not lucky ‘eaten alive’ man, turns out to be ever more and more absorbing? And consequently, what about ‘getting lost’ entirely, by abandoning any sense of reason, into the abyss of forlornness, wantonness, neediness – or helplessness even?
All of this encompasses Sex, I feel. Which then only leaves out the playing of games through either the promise or the withdrawal of sexual ‘favours’. How could the calculating abuse of one’s own and other’s private parts have anything to do with Sex? Unfortunately, though, as psychology is very aware, that’s exactly what most people are settling for. Very strange, isn’t it?
Let’s talk about the Black Hole. Pauline Reage. Some kind of female cultivator’s voice talkling to us. What exactly is being cultivated is not clear, though. An unsettlingly genuine underworld of lustful dungeons? A lecherous antechamber of hell? It is, for the literary minded, about the inexplicable kink of suffering and about love as submission and about the successful transformation of Pain into Pleasure. Meanwhile, the structural setup of this ‘love’ is to allow, beneath the line, the fullest scope of sexual self-expression beween two people while at the same time, above the line, the astonishingly harmonious everyday life between husband and wife. Is it a mouthpiece of “primordial truths” as the author herself claimed it to be? A course-book for intimate confidence that works for both women and men? Even perhaps a kind of ‘black bible’ (in the shadow of the infamous witches’ Books of Shadow?) to explain and grasp the invisible Leash that seems to lie at the source of female surrender to her chosen man and that the chosen man is not only invited but even required to keep in his hand quite firmly?
At any rate, Pauline Reage’s work is certainly bringing some of the roots of sexual desire to the light and so the question arises: where does Lust really come from? As it’s bound to ‘possess’ people, driving them into irrationality and the abandonment of their core identity, if you will, in the cultivation community lust was always regarded as most suspiscious. It was the key dividing line between whether you can truly cultivate or whether you’re prone to be ruined along the way.
So then where does it come from and what does it really mean? What’s the difference, say, to a childlike innocent frivolry, or the playful explorations while ‘playing doctor’, or the buzzing but still respectful enjoyment of each other’s nudity, for instance?
Flicking through a couple of tales from the Greek pantheon, the Gods themselves didn’t mind much about losing their divine heads over such matters every now and then, whether for fellow goddesses or gods or so-called ‘fair’ or ‘virtuous’ mortals. And sure enough, myriads of problems came about as a consequence of that. Could this be the reason for all those strict precepts in scriptures with regards to sexual matters, perhaps? If even Gods are getting lost in the sentimentalities of jealousy and desire, then by propagating this problem down to us mortals – the precepts might even entail contracts sealed with genital mutilation, if the covenant of circumcision might be regarded as such. Original sin? The ‘knowledge’ of being ‘naked’? Meditating in the mountains for thousands of years, only to then be ruined by a lanky sixteen-year-old in a matter of flicking eye-lashes.
Leaving aside desire and lust for a moment and looking at the raw psychological contract that’s being established through Intimacy between a man and a woman might help to be more rational about the whole thing. Arguing about this from merely the precepts and laws as religion would have them clashes harshly with the en-vogue atheist notions of sexual freedom.
In fact, modern psychotherapy, if it doesn’t happen to tackle warped notions of ‘success’, deals mainly with crooked social contracts which we mortals (not unlike the Greek and Roman gods) more often than not prep-up to turn into something damp and sexy. The reality of a psychology that reaches as deep as Pauline Reage on the one hand, and as far as the solemn cultivation of virtue on the other, would conclude that any form of sexual encounter sets in place a Serious Contract that cannot ever be broken again, no matter whether we look at it from a male or a female point of view:
For a man, to get into the position of ‘obtaining‘ or ‘possessing’ a woman means that he’s been chosen by a woman and can either reject her or have a wive from now on. Would he choose to possess the girl and afterwards dump her – wouldn’t that be taking advantage and throwing away? Leaving aside higher implications through cosmic laws of Cause and Effect – on the merely mundane level you’d been given the tremendous gift of a wive only to throw her back on the street (at the very least metaphorically) once you consumed her. Hence, it is probably a good (wise) idea to sleep with a woman only if you are to marry her. Or in other words – Sex equals Marriage. Yeah.
Haha, in today’s world that’s most certainly a tough call and we’ll have to elaborate a bit about Psychological Health in order to see this point straight and clear. Confident or already straight guys (straight as opposed to crooked) will understand what has been said. Insecure, needy or calculating guys will have to look deeper within both their own and the female part of their psyche in order to ‘see’.
But before we get there, let’s look at this from the female point of view. To be ‘giving yourself’ to the guy of your choice (which is not the ‘diet-coke version’ of only playing with boys) means that you give – even dedicate – probably your whole life to this special person. You basically lay it down at your chosen king’s feet. This implies that to realistically surrender youself, you’ve got to make sure you can completely ‘trust’ this person so that you won’t be ‘ruined’ afterwards, once you’ve given him ‘everything that you have’ (which a real confident guy would’ve gotten). As a girl who’s still a virgin and in the position of not having beeen contaminated with sinister bullshit by crooked mothers or fake friends (or social-engineering fake governments nowadays), you might probably still be able to do this, accomplish such life-changing surrender to a guy that is fundamentally ‘nice’. And this may then very well turn into a happy and honest relationship for a while. But long term, such a high level of trust can only endure the test of time through an Open Contract, psychologically speaking – not a secret, invisible underhanded one. In a multi-dimensional reality as complex as ours, who really knows what might be influencing people with even the best hearts and intentions down the line? Isn’t that why formal, official marriage contracts do have their place in history?
Anyway, the framework where we mortals live in being what it is – who’s without ‘sin’, as Jesus Christ put it, or ‘karma’, as sin was called by Buddha Shakyamuni 500 years before that. Clean and visible contracts, unfortunately, exist only as an ideal, hardly as a reality. Which gives us a chance to explain the before-mentioned psychological workings of ‘crookedness’ for a better illustration. Should you, as a woman – after having at least once gone through a failed hook-up and in the process of getting closer to someone you like so that intimacy might occur – decide to this time better only give a ‘piece’ of yourself – rather than your ‘whole self’ … what this means is that only equally calculating / crooked men would settle for such a bait. What you’ve caught in your net is not a healthy, genuine man who’d never sacrifice his integrity. But a guy who sells out for a piece of meat in order to satisfy whatever ulterior motives his life scripts would call for. This indeed is deep. You’re both only playing games with yourself and each other and therefore live a life not your own but someone else’s.
Let’s make all of this even more explicit by putting a couple of questions forward. Is a man who compromises his integrity still a man? Is a woman who’s lost her heart for selfish gains still a woman? Can a relationship ever work without a firm sexual contract? If a woman has already been ‘possessed’ by a confident man, would another confident man still want to touch her? If a woman has chosen a guy who subsequently fails her, can she ever trust another man? If a guy hasn’t got a proper handle on his desires, can he ever truly satisfy a woman? If a woman can not submit sexually to a man, will she ever find someone to ‘make her happy’? If a woman sacrifices her man for a ‘better’ one, isn’t she in a way ‘killing’ her old husband? Isn’t a girl in fact hating men by ‘keeping herself’ a boyfried (like a dog)? If a guy encounters problems with his status in society and he cannot fully rely on his woman to stay by his side, is he not deceiving himself about actually ‘having a woman’ in the first place? Isn’t a woman, by the mere fact of making the free choice of either being with someone or to remain alone, molding herself to be supporting her chosen husband? Doesn’t it ‘make a man’ to be able to realize to the fullest extent that he’s alone in this world and truly be cool and content about it? Doesn’t it involve issues of virtue for a woman to never give herself to anybody except to the husband she chooses, no matter how much she is tempted, bribed or threatened?
Quite something to digest, I guess. Still, let’s jump to the other end of our mountain-range subject and throw light on Sex from yet another angle. Elixir. The Philosopher’s Stone. Combining Sulphur and Mercury. Red Eagle and White Lion. The Great Work. What’s all that about and how’s it related to Sex? Well, isn’t the Qi (vital energy) of blood and essence needed to nourish life and longevity in cultivation? Where is there such a cultivator who’d regard ejaculation (and thus the sexual ‘act’) as something casual? If everyday people really knew how serious the male essence is (not only in this dimension), then who’d still squander their juices on ultrabrite mansize tissues, or toss filled-up jelly-fishes into the nearest toilet? So if a man, then, is starting to be more particular about spending their seed even on his wive (“Does she need it today? Can I today affort it?”), who in their right mind would go at length to lose all of this ‘goodness’ to a so-called ‘whore’? Could this perhaps have been the reason why Jesus talked about whore-humpers being utter fools?
So to advance this argument further, isn’t in fact only the mastership of a man’s ejaculatory function wiping away the strange, silent power-gap between men and women that would otherwise never cease lurking far underneath their Bridal Chamber?
On another note, knowledge about all of this, the deeper it goes, is only to be found by people who can earnestly follow the leads. The hippies brought-up plenty of this, for instance. They also paved the way for the apparent ‘liberation’ of sexuality – but ultimately didn’t have a clue what ‘freedom’ really entails. In the wake of this, though, Eastern ideas came to be widely known. So-called ‘tantra’ came to be talked about and practiced (which is seemingly related to Tibetan Tantrism but is hardly, as we’ll see in a bit). And Mantak Chia’s mission seems to have been to reveal quite some secretive knowledge about sexuality and its relation to health and cultivation from the Dao school. In terms of true high-level cultivation, those secrets are only baby-steps but still a lot of otherwise unheard-of subjects are being brought up in his work. At its core lies the revelation of knowledge about our sexual organs actually carrying within them a reflexological hologram of our entire body (not unlike the soles of our feet that most people know of). Ancient Chinese medicine, according to Mantak Chia, therefore prescribed (among holistic herbs and a wealth of other amazing means, many of them lost) certain positions to be employed during intercourse for couples, to cure any particular ailments of one or both partners. Which goes to show – yes, Sex can be healing. Or should it always be?
But then again, one doesn’t necessarily need a partner to acupressure genital regions. The continuation into dual cultivation that is subsequently part of Chia’s exposition is in fact antithetical to Daoist cultivation altogether which holds that every human body carries within both male and female substances already (the familiar Yin and Yang, vividly represented by the Daoist symbol of the Universe, the Taiji) and it can therefore achieve ‘enlightenment’ – including the unlocking of everything that the human body is capable of cultivating. The Dao school’s emphasis of the Law is the cultivation of ‘Truth’ which implies going back to one’s true self, one’s origin within the cosmic expanse. Where everyone is, as a solemn Sentient Being, obviously Alone.
Now – one is, despite social contracts and entanglements, of course alone always. But in Tantric cultivation, dual cultivation of a man and a woman forms perhaps a major part of the practice. Being considered unorthodox within the Buddha school traditionally, it cultivates a Law King (Buddha) and a Demon King at the same time. There’s simply no way any of the knowledge known as ‘Tantrism’ in the new-age scene comes close to even scratching the surface of this serious practice of Buddhahood.
So while dual cultivation between man and woman does exist within a very esoteric, special school, any sexual aspect of all other cultivation practices is primarily solitary, using the Qi of Essence and Blood, Mercury and Sulphur, to give birth to a multitude of Abilities and Lives such as our ‘True Body’ (Adamantine Buddha Body from the Buddha school or the Immortal Infant from the Dao school). It is born in the Elixir Field, two finger widths below the navel in the centre of the body above the perineum. Both male and female bodies are capable of developing such ‘Magic’. It is what Alchemists metaphorically referred to as the Elixir of Immortality. The dissolution of strive symbolised by number 5 through the Pentagram into the successful amalgamation of fire and water in the Hexagram and its number 6. The divine, golden gong replacing the base matter of dust, soil or molecules. This is the over-the-ages of mankind most sought-after Philosopher’s Stone. Cultivating it is the highest and most intricate Science in the world.
No wonder, then, Alistair Crowley whose mission (like Madame Blavatski’s), apart from dabbling in all sorts of Masonic magic, seems to have been introducing cultivation matters from the East to the West, has said, “I believe that every boy is originally conscious of sex as sacred but he does not know what it is.” And “the sexual act then being a sacrament, it remains to consider in what respect this limits the employment of the organs.”
Re-searching our sensuality or exploring the limitations of our body through Sex is, after all, only scratching the surface of nerve endings. What ‘tantra’ by Margot Anand or ‘healing love’ by Mantak Chia can show – yes, certain techniques are pushing the envelope for partner massage and open higher gateways to the cosmos though human copulation. But none of this comes nowhere near of touching upon either the psychological depths of human sexuality, nor does it obviously touch upon any of the higher realms of true cultivation.
So in ending our present exploration, what then does (or should?) Sex mean to us mere non-cultivating mortals? If we’re sincerely aiming for happiness here in this world – what to make of the strident urgency represented by Lust and Desire? And how to tackle the devastating existential discrepancy between the rather formal male ‘come’ and the multiple bottomless hole of pleasure that the female is presenting us with, and on whose bosom the exhausted, softened male will – again and again – inevitably come to his standstill?
And, lastly, seen from ever higher levels and angles – ‘what’ really are Men and Women in the first place? What is and where lies the constituting source of such matters? Considering scriptures, which on higher levels all agree on the issue of a Fallen Woman or a Fallen State – what happened between Tathagatas (male bodily form) and Bodhisattvas (female bodily form) long way back in time? And what is all this Nuit, Nature, Gaia, Euronyme, the Gnostic Demiurge, the Inverted Principles – what’s all of that really about and how does it reflect into our world? Why is the female seemingly scooping off ‘white stuff’ and this white stuff, ‘virtue’, would be traded for a ‘good life’, handed out by the ‘three fates’ who, some say, have existed long before Zeus / Jupiter / Jehova and thus operate entirely outside of his Will and Influence but instead report to Goddess Necessity? And does Eroticism ultimately exist also in the loftiest realms of Heaven? Isn’t the whole concept of Temptation only giving rise to all the magnificent things that exist – if Righteousness, or the Law, the Fa, the Dao, is being maintained throughout the universe?
This is where we leave you, dear reader. May this little treatise inspire fresh trajectories of Thought, Knowledge and Insight. And if nothing else, helps you to get your Sex Life straight once and for all.
[ Autumn 2012 ]
[ tags: sex, eros, psychology, relationships, power games, cultivation, tantra, magic, eilixir, men, women, contracts, crookedness, health, ancient knowledge, happiness, fulfillment, mystery, lilith, desire, lust, leash, sin, karma, carnal knowledge, possessing, surrender, marriage, devotion, … ]